Forgive and forget; self-preservation or self-esteem?

[vila_restal]

"What's more important--self-preservation or forgiveness?

Eh? That's an odd choice. I mean, why can't you have both? And d'you mean forgiving others, or them forgiving you?

They're both important.

Me, I plan to live forever or die trying. That's always been one of my major goals, but if I had to do it at the expense of a friend's life... well I just couldn't. I've thought about that one often enough, you know, remembering how I hid in a tiny space on a certain overloaded shuttle hoping I wasn't found. Never occurred to me to chuck Avon off, but I have to be honest--it isn't because I'm so altruistic (after all, I didn't exactly offer to jump out). For one thing, I hate violence, for another, I'd have had to spend the rest of my life knowing what I'd done. Better to die than live with that.

I'd never have forgiven myself.

Ah. So I suppose I've answered that question. It's forgiveness.

I forgave Avon for it, you know. It made sense, didn't it--why should both of us die? And anyway, hating someone isn't good for the digestion or a decent night's sleep, and I do like to look after myself.

Comments

[londo-mollari.livejournal.com]

While I admire your generous spirit, I have to wonder: do you take any precautions now in regards to your shipmate? I would...

On the other hand:
why should both of us die?

You know, I made this very argument when trapped in an elevator, which was surrounded by blames, with an, err, aquaintance of mine. Not in the sense of one of us sacrificing himself (or being sacrificed), mind you. On the contrary, I suggested we ought to cooperate to get out of said unpleasant situation. Whereupon he replied he was quite happy with both of us dying together. Compared to this person, your Avon sounds downright safe and reasonable...